When I look around me I see so much right with how we talk about the reality of femalehood.
Society is talking about sexual assault in a way like we never have before.
Peers are discussing their bodies in much more real ways than previously.
Mothers are getting more and more real about mothering in the modern world and how they find harmony, or don't.
I see a movement to be more and more real on social media.
So much of that I talk about here. So much of all of the above is why I created this space for myself, and hopefully others one day.
I'm a very honest person. I'm also self aware and embrace self reflection in a way I never have before.
So I'll start this by saying I'm insecure. And it is mostly centered around my body. I judge myself often in the mirror and don't usually like what I see. And motherhood has altered that in many different ways.
I gain security with strength. With marks on my calendar of days I work out. With weight loss. With compliments from strangers and friends and family.
But what I really need is my own approval. What I need is to look myself in the mirror and tell myself I'm beautiful.
Want to know when I felt most beautiful? In my life?
After the birth of Ava.
Motherhood, growing and birthing my children, has brought me the closet to feeling secure in my self and my body.
But, motherhood has also changed my body in ways completely out of my control.
So, how do I come to terms with that?
I embrace it. I own it. I recognize and talk to myself about the strength and beauty of my body.
So, I want to share with you. My postpartum body. Embracing the children that made me a mother. My postpartum body that I have a daily imbalanced relationship with. My postpartum body that is only mine. My body. My choice. My strength. My abilities. My body.
I looked forward to these images because being present for them is part of my current journey to loving my body.
Seeing the beauty in these images for me is looking at my children, and then at my body, and knowing that without my body these beautiful beings would not exist.
I don't think I'll ever be truly happy with my body.
But I'll come back to these images again and again and remind myself of what I've accomplished.
I'll work out and thank my body for carrying me through the run or spin.
I'll wake up, and look at my body as I get changed and celebrate what I like instead of focusing on what I don't.
I'm continuing to find the harmony in my own reflection.
This is my postpartum realness.
All pictures are by the deeply gifted Max Grey